


Intimacy

by Wannabe_Punk



Category: Bones (TV)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-24
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2020-01-31 10:43:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18589639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wannabe_Punk/pseuds/Wannabe_Punk
Summary: Jack Hodgins is over it. Really. At least enough for his colleagues to not notice his bad mental state. And then, there's Zack Addy. With him, everything just happens. And it feels so right...





	Intimacy

**Author's Note:**

> Even though there's no graphic description of sexual abuse, it is still implied. If you're easy to trigger or sensitive, I'd recommend to rather not read the story.

After all this time, he still feared the darkness and was still afraid everything would repeat one day. Whenever noises interrupted his train of thoughts or whenever anything was a little bit too dark, too silent or just too different, he found himself in a corner of the room, shivering.  
Not that he ever mentioned anything of it, too humilitating was his story, too stupid his reaction to this minor inconvenience.  
On the outside he still was the perfect Dr. Hodgins. The womanizer with the money, the abiliy and the strength to alway act as it pleased him., but on the inside he was slowly breaking. As pathetic as this sounds, this was his reality and he hated it. How could something like this happen to him? How? It wasn't as he couldn't have fought back physically, but honestly, it's not as if it worked this way.  
Jack Hodgins hated the night. He just couldn't imagine anything worse than the solitude he experienced every single night. And every single day he tried to brush away the fear that still crept over him, once something was a off. 

Jack Hodgins hated the night.  
But it was a little better when Zack was over in his pyjamas, watching a series with him. Over the last few weeks, it grew a habit that Zack would drive back with Jack, disappear in his flat for about an hour and then appear at Jack's frontdoor. At first he tried to bring some food or snacks, but it didn't took long until he realised how much better Jack could cook, so he just stopped.   
After a few days, Jack was so used to Zack's visits that he even stopped fearing the darkness, simply knowing he wouldn't be alone. For whenever Zack came over, he would fall asleep on the sofa. At some point, he simply decided to just come in his pyjamas in order to get rid of the uncomfortable sleeping conditions. And even though Jack took a while to get used to fall asleep next to somebody – even if it was only the couch – he simply enjoyed it. One night, they were watching firefly, Jack lying on a different end of the sofa, when Zack opened his mouth.   
"I am not quite sure if this is an appropriate question to ask right now, but I feel like I would enjoy cuddling with you." He blushed. Even with only the TV shining on his face, it was obvious. "I mean, I totally understand how unprofessional it is to practize such intimate acts with a colleague but I-"  
"Shut up!", Jack groaned with a small smile on his face. "You came over for weeks, just in your pyjamas. It's fine. I'd even say, I am glad, you asked."

Jack Hodgins hated intimacy.  
And yet he went. He stood up, shivering. Went, trembling. Sat down, freezing. But it was Zack. Zack was harmless, fine, lovely. Zack was a lot, but definitly not a threat, so he pushed all his fears away and let himself fall. Maybe it was the fault of the beer he was drinking, but he fell in a less metaphorical and more literal way than he intended to. It was backwards on the couch, harmless, but it ruined the moment. Or maybe saved it – Jack Hodgins wasn't sure and is not until today, if he could have went that far otherwise.  
But it is what it is. In this case that means: Zack jerked away in order to not get hit by Jack's head but immediately reached out to stop him from hitting the armrest. And from then on, it wasn't much for the two to cuddle. Zack simply pulled Jack in his arms and rested his chin on his head, with a finger stroking through Jack's hair. Maybe, this was too much, but it felt right.  
Meanwhile, Jack struggled to allow this gentle touches, trying to remind himself of reality. This was not someone, this was Zack. His adorable, dorky colleague, he appreciated so much. As co-worker but even more as friend. Although it sometimes was hard to understand the difference, he wasable to enjoy it most of the time.

Jack Hodgins hated sex.  
He feared being exposed, feared being used. But mostly, he feared flashbacks. Feared, that everything would repeat and that he would feel powerless again. But it just happened. With Zack, everything just happened.  
Jack couldn't even understand why. It wasn't like Zack was the fast forward kind of guy, it was more like the special something he had.   
First, they just cuddled. Then, they just kissed and now they were here. In his bedroom. And somehow it all just happened.  
When Jack was lying in Zack arms, resting his head on his chest, everything was fine. Zack circled his hair with his fingers, slowly stroked his neck and tenderly kissed him. It felt alright. So right that Jack simply turned, wanting more affection, and gained another kiss. And another. And another.   
At first, they were innocent, fast kisses. Head, forehead, cheek. Then they got braver – the lips, even the neck. Jack was so lost in thoughts, he didn't even realise the tension in Zacks body, the fear in his eyes, so afraid to go too far, too fast, to make a mistake. Jack simply enjoyed. And when the kisses went from innocent to dirty, Jack finally started taking action. He not only kissed Zack back but started to initiate them. And once he got over himself, he could get all back to the old Hodgins. The (wo)manizer.   
Fingers on skin, lips on skin, bare skin on skin, moaning, stroking, touching, tenderness. It just felt right with Zack. Safe.   
In a short break, he managed to get out a “Let's go to my bedroom,” and before he even finished his words, Zack already offered a hand for Jack to get up and they stumbled upstairs, not being able to get their fingers of each other. Kissing on the stairs, undressing in the corridor, touching in the bedroom. It just felt normal again.   
“Where”, Zack gasps heavily, “Where are your condoms? And your lu–".  
Before he could finish his sentence, Jack's hand wandered to his crotch, slowly stroking up and down and therefore interrupting Zacks question with a moan.   
“Lube? Let me just get it.” He whispered in Zack's ear before pushing him on the bed tenderly and kissing him from his neck down to his collarbone. Meanwhile, he searched with his left hand for condoms and lube in the bedside table. Just as he proudly handed it to Zack, Zack regained dominance and pulled the two over. It didn't took long until they came into action, Zack moaning and thrusting. Too long, he had wished for this. Too long he had scenaries like this in his head.  
Jack meanwhile kept still. Completely still, just letting it happen. It was too much to bear. The pain was too big, and all his pleasure was suddenly gone. He still was hard but somehow it didn't felt like it anymore. But if he just obeyed, maybe Zack would be done faster.   
Pain.  
Everywhere was pain.   
When would it stop? How long would he take?   
Just don't move and it won't be as bad. Just don't move.  
Don't move.  
Just...   
He felt like an object. Used. Tears started rolling down his face.  
Dissociation.   
This was, when Zack noticed that something was wrong. He immediately stopped, trying to comfort Jack.  
“I- I don't understand. What did I do wrong? I am sorry.”  
Slowly, he pulled out, tried to hug the now in a fetal position huddled Jack. He didn't understand. And as he touched Jack's bare skin, Jack flinched away.   
Hurt and ashamed, Zack Addy retrieved his arms, slowly crawled out of the bed and collected his clothes, only to huddle away confused and full of guilt.  
Jack Hodgins still hated sex.   
Zack Addy too hated sex now.


End file.
